Make Lemonade out of Lemons: Travel can be Miserable

I always tell myself that airports, airplanes, smelly passengers are not worth it - until I get off the plane to my destination. It is so unnatural to be squeezed into a seat the size of a tuna can with the woman in front of you with too much perfume and the person behind you eating pizza that they brought on the plane. I am grateful when the seat belt fits and the air is blowing on me like a hair dryer. The worst words to hear from the pilot are, "I am sorry for the inconvenience but we have been delayed on the tarmac. Please pull down all window shades as we will have air conditioning once we take off." Never, NEVER tell a menopausal woman that! She starts sweating before the pilot has the microphone put down.

No one volunteers to sit next to me on a plane because I tend to drape my body as far on the other seat as possible and my ADHD has been known to kick in. I have my "activity bag" with me that I can never get to so I use my feet to shove it around until it bothers someone into picking it up.

On our flight from Memphis, the short little man in front of me had his 100% wool jacket (Made in India) draped backwards across his seat so that the lapels and pockets were draped in my lap. He asked me if I minded him putting it there. Of course, I started sweating when I saw the 100% wool label but I was fumbling with my seatbelt and didn't have time to say, "Put your coat in your own lap!"

My mother always told me to make lemonade out of lemons. I had no where to put my IPod until I saw the lapel pockets of his coat. My IPod fit in there perfectly. And lo and behold, my glasses fit in the other pocket. Therefore, I had my own little seat caddy. We were given cheese and salami for snacks. I really thought about putting some salami in his pocket as a thank you/parting gift.

Plane rides are boring. You think you can catch a few hours sleep but about the time you fall asleep the pilot starts mumbling about the altitude and tells you that you can now get up to go to the bathroom. Upon our approach to Newark, I told my mother that I needed to have a little fun. I said loudly, "There is the Statue of Liberty". We were no where near it but the little in front of me jerked her head around and said, "Where is it?" I tried not to laugh too hard and told her I was just kidding. New Yorkers have no sense of humor - I don't think she thought I was funny.

We are getting ready for the flight to Shannon from Newark. Bill is excited because we have exit row seats with extra leg room. However, it also means that in case of an emergency, my 83 year old mother, a panicked stricken Bill and I (who will be groggy from the pharmaceuticals that promise I will sleep) are responsible for rescuing people in case of emergency. If I happen to fall asleep, please don't wake me up for that.